#3: How to Approach Personal Development from a Place of Already Being Enough
In this episode I've answered an audience member's question - How do we let ourselves "be" in a culture that is telling us that we are not enough. We live in a culture that constantly tells us that we are not enough. How do we approach personal growth from a place of being enough without that being a contradiction?
I coach using positive psychology and mixing that with a touch of spirituality. I was drawn to positive psychology because it focuses on our strengths and what is good about us, rather than needing "fixing" us. It comes from a place of us all already being enough, and I believe we flourish more when we play to our strengths.
If you want to improve, first recognize your inherent worthiness. You don't need to "fix" yourself. This is a mindset and a way to approach the world. We are all worthy, and each and every one of us is as worthy as another. Because you went through a tough time doesn't make you any less worthy. We must start with believing this and working on our self worth.
Before you start on any journey of self-discovery or growth, start with recognizing your worthiness:
3 Exercises I suggest:
- Write a list of all of your strengths (What are you good at? What are your character strengths)
- Ask people close to you what they perceive as 3 strengths you have
- Write yourself a Love Note
Know that you are Right Where You Are Supposed to Be
We are where we are supposed to be. I think it is psychologically healthy to have faith and believe in something bigger than yourself. In my opinion life is a journey and we are each sent lessons. Life is about navigating these lessons and growing.
Be self-compassionate. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself like you would your own best friend. How we speak to ourselves matters. Do your best to be aware of when you talk to yourself unkindly, and try to override that negative self-talk.
Recognize that there is no behind when it comes to personal growth. We all grow at the pace that we are ready to. You're not racing anyone. We are all walking our own paths, and comparison is irrelevant. You should have no other goal than being better than you were yesterday.
* To Do: Mantra
Write a positive note, message or affirmation that you will see a couple.
e.g. - I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
Do what feels right for you - there is no one size fits all to personal growth
Society sells to us constantly that we are lacking. People want to us to believe that we are broken and can be fixed. But there isn't one set path to living a beautiful life. We are so unique. Don't fall into the trap of there being one Guru, or one Path to the good life.
Your growth needs to be driven from you. A coach can help, but the reality is that change can only ever come from you. I can't write a program to help you grow if you aren't willing to do the work. So you must follow what calls to you. So trust your gut, and do what interests you when it comes to personal growth.
* To Do:
Start your personal development and growth purely through trusting your gut. You have to enjoy the journey, otherwise you won't stick with it.
I believe that if you really want to learn about yourself, grow and development, then you will always be driven to the things you need to help you do just that. Trust this. You are right where you are supposed to be. Trust that you are worthy, regardless of the outside world. There is nothing to prove.
Life is a journey. It should bring you joy, and so should your journey of personal development.