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Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

How to stop the crazy-making and reclaim your life from toxic people, emotional abuse, and narcissistic abuse.

The Save Your Sanity podcast offers episodes filled with the expert insights, validation, strategies, and support you need to recognize, manage, and recover from relationships with the relentlessly difficult, toxic--and ... More
Latest Episode
2019-12-9

How Having a Hijackal Parent Can Mess With Your Life & Relationships

Ep. 86

When you have a #Hijackal® parent, you tend to model their traits, or be set up to be the unwitting "prey" for other predators like them. Having a #Hijackal parent can turn you into "Hijackal Bait." Hijackals are attracted to you, and you are attracted tot hem.


Why? Because they seem so familiar. You feel somehow comfortably uncomfortable with them...at least for the first while.


Having a Hijackal parent often means that you become the Golden Child in the family, the one who can do no wrong. Or, the Scapegoat, the one who can do nothing right.


It's important to realize the potential pitfalls for life and relationship that having a Hijackal parent set you up to take. It certainly wasn't your fault, and you did not create. It's important, though, to recognize what actually happened to you.


Today's episode gives you some insights into this.


Read the highlights below, and listen in. Subscribe so you'll receive every episode to help you stay clear about what is really going on.


--------------------------------------------------------------

I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.

----------------------------------------------------------------------


HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

  • Insights into motives of toxic parents
  • What you may not realize about your upbringing
  • Why #Hijackals must make you wrong
  • Why you might take on too much blame in life


Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97


CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: ForRelationshipHelp.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler


YouTubeYouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp


#narcissisticparent #Hijackalparent #toxicparents #toxicparenting

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

2019-12-9

How Having a Hijackal Parent Can Mess With Your Life & Relationships

Ep. 86

When you have a #Hijackal® parent, you tend to model their traits, or be set up to be the unwitting "prey" for other predators like them. Having a #Hijackal parent can turn you into "Hijackal Bait." Hijackals are attracted to you, and you are attracted tot hem.


Why? Because they seem so familiar. You feel somehow comfortably uncomfortable with them...at least for the first while.


Having a Hijackal parent often means that you become the Golden Child in the family, the one who can do no wrong. Or, the Scapegoat, the one who can do nothing right.


It's important to realize the potential pitfalls for life and relationship that having a Hijackal parent set you up to take. It certainly wasn't your fault, and you did not create. It's important, though, to recognize what actually happened to you.


Today's episode gives you some insights into this.


Read the highlights below, and listen in. Subscribe so you'll receive every episode to help you stay clear about what is really going on.


--------------------------------------------------------------

I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.

----------------------------------------------------------------------


HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

  • Insights into motives of toxic parents
  • What you may not realize about your upbringing
  • Why #Hijackals must make you wrong
  • Why you might take on too much blame in life


Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97


CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: ForRelationshipHelp.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler


YouTubeYouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp


#narcissisticparent #Hijackalparent #toxicparents #toxicparenting

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

2019-12-2

6 Steps to Keep You Safer Around Hijackals & Other Toxic Folks. Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Ep. 85

Difficult, defensive, and destructive behaviors can turn into dangerous ones! These six steps to keep you safer around toxic people, around #Hijackals, are absolutely vital to recognize and take. Keep yourself safer!


In today's episode, I'm defining "dangerous" as dangerous to your well-being in all ways, and to your children's well-being and best interests. I give you six vital questions to ask yourself--honestly ask yourself--and honestly answer.


When you're with a toxic person, you are likely to make excuses for their behavior, rationalize or justify their behavior. Time to stop doing that. And, time to look at your relationship with honest eyes. You need to see what's really happening, not what you wish was happening, right?


Toxic relationships depend on you putting up with verbal and emotional abuse. If you were not willing to, you would not be in the relationship. I know that sounds very harsh and matter-of-fact. You would only put up with these behaviors if you had been taught to, and I want to open you up to see that it is NOT NECESSARY to put up with being treated like anything less than the valuable human you are.


None of us are perfect, and we ARE valuable. You deserve to be treated with honesty, respect, trust, and reliability. You deserve to be safe.


Sometimes, you might not realize that you have rights and you can expect to be treated with respect and dignity. In a loving relationship, you can also expect to be with an emotionally mature person who wants to create emotional intimacy. That's not unreasonable, although, in my opinion, not enough people go for it!


You are the one who can take steps to keep you and your children safe. Information and education are the beginning, and I'm so glad you're listening to this podcast. Enjoy all the other episodes, too, and shore up your knowledge, AND your self-confidence, too!


Read the highlights below, and listen in. Subscribe so you'll receive every episode to help you stay clear about what is really going on.


--------------------------------------------------------------

I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.

----------------------------------------------------------------------


HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

  • 6 invaluable questions to ask yourself, and answer honestly
  • 6 steps to keep yourself safer when you're around a toxic person, a #Hijackal
  • Why #Hijackals are not driven by logic
  • Signs of potential trouble when you're with a controlling person
  • Why it is essential to whip off the rose-colored glasses and see that a difficult person can actually be a dangerous person


You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.


Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!


If you need help with any part of the journey with--and from--a #Hijackal, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.


Make positive changes NOW.


Big hugs,

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com


P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.


WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

  • access to my Optimize Circles
  • my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
  • monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
  • at least monthly insightful videos and access to the library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

OptimizeCircles.com


CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler


YouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

Weekly live stream show, Help for Toxic Relationships, on Mondays at 6 PM Pacific Time.

Subscribe now on YouTube. Hit the notification bell to get reminders.

Ask your questions in the chat each week!


You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.


#staysafe #personalsafety #emotionalsafety #keepyourselfsafe #stepstostopabuse #notoabuse #hijackalfree

#saveyoursanity #coercivecontrol #narcissisticabuse #toxicnarcissist #leavinganarcissist #hijackals #saveyoursanity #Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #sociopath #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #toxicpeople

2019-11-24

10 Mind-Games Narcissistic Play to Confuse & Gaslight You. Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Ep. 84

CRAZY-MAKING! That's what these ten mind-games are!

#Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult, toxic people in life must always win. You've noticed that, right?

They have to be right, make your wrong, and have their way.


That why it is important to recognize these ten mind-games narcissists play to confuse you. Narcissists want you to live in uncertainty. They want the ground beneath your feet to be constantly shifting. AND, they want to be in control of those shifts.


When you come to clearly see what a #narcissist is up to, what a #Hijackal is up to, you will be able to make clearer decisions about your next best steps. When you're too worn down to see these things, get some help. I'm always here to help you. BeAClient.com


Read the highlights below, and listen in. Subscribe so you'll receive every episode to help you stay clear about what is really going on.


--------------------------------------------------------------

I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.

----------------------------------------------------------------------


HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

  • All or Nothing Thinking
  • Love-bombing Flattery
  • "Don't Be Different"
  • Convenient Half-Truths
  • The "I'm Just Kidding/You're Too Sensitive" Gambit
  • Generalizations and Cliches
  • Smear Campaigns
  • "The Plausability Ploy"
  • Exploiting Vulnerabilities
  • Playing on Your Emotions



You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.


Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!


If you need help with any part of the journey with--and from--a #Hijackal, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.


Make positive changes NOW.


Big hugs,

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com


P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.


WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

  • access to my Optimize Circles
  • my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
  • monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
  • at least monthly insightful videos and access to the library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

OptimizeCircles.com


CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler


YouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

Weekly live stream show, Help for Toxic Relationships, on Mondays at 6 PM Pacific Time.

Subscribe now on YouTube. Hit the notification bell to get reminders.

Ask your questions in the chat each week!


You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.


#co-parenting #co-parentingwithnarcissist #putthechildrenfirst #parentingwithanarcissist

#saveyoursanity #coercivecontrol #narcissisticabuse #toxicnarcissist #leavinganarcissist #hijackals #saveyoursanity #Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #sociopath #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #toxicpeople

2019-11-17

Co-Parenting With a Narcissist Without Losing Your Mind. Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Ep. 83

You've divorced a #narcissist, a #Hijackal®. That was difficult, no doubt.

Now, you're settling in--or trying to settle in--to some kind of reasonable co-parenting model. That's tough, too.

I know, I've done it.

It's not easy to co-parent with a #narcissist.

It's not what you expected to have to do.

You're still resentful about the relationship, and devastated by the divorce.


BIG RULE: Never make your children feel like pawns, messengers, or casualties of your divorce.


Yes, that's tough, too, but it is SO important.


In a perfect world, after divorce, your children would only know that life is more peaceful with two homes, and that they miss the parent they are not with. That's it. That's how it should go.


When you have divorced a narcissist, that's not the way it goes, right?


In this episode, I'm giving you the 5 IDEALS for conscious co-parenting

AND, the 10 REALITIES of co-parenting with a narcissist, co-parenting with a Hijackal.


I promised in the episode to give you the five positive affirmations to keep in mind here in writing.


  1. I am the model I want my children to follow. Therefore, everything I do and say demonstrates who I want my children to strive towards becoming.
  2. I communicate with my ex in the way I wish for him/her to communicate with me. I choose collaboration and conversation, over conflict and acrimony.
  3. I focus on my children and what keeps them healthy--physically, mentally, and emotionally. That includes doing what is in their best interests first.
  4. I turn my attention from what I don't like about my ex to what s/he does well for the children. It's about the kid, not what my personal issues are with my ex.
  5. I allow my children to enjoy their childhood and ensure they're only concerned with age-appropriate thoughts, feelings, and actions. I protect them from being pawns, messengers, and casualties of my divorce.


I clarify the realities of co-parenting with toxic people, and give you ten insights that will help you save your santiy.


Read the highlights below, and listen in. Subscribe so you'll receive every episode to help you stay clear about what is really going on.


--------------------------------------------------------------

I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.

----------------------------------------------------------------------


HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

  • 5 Ideals of Co-parenting
  • 10 Realities of Co-parenting with a narcissistic #Hijackal
  • How to keep your head above water while saving your sanity when co-parenting
  • Why and How to be the most sane parent in the narcissist mix



You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.


Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!


If you need help with any part of the journey with--and from--a #Hijackal, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.


Make positive changes NOW.


Big hugs,

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com


P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.


WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

  • access to my Optimize Circles
  • my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
  • monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
  • at least monthly insightful videos and access to the library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

OptimizeCircles.com


CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler


YouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

Weekly live stream show, Help for Toxic Relationships, on Mondays at 6 PM Pacific Time.

Subscribe now on YouTube. Hit the notification bell to get reminders.

Ask your questions in the chat each week!


You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.


#co-parenting #co-parentingwithnarcissist #putthechildrenfirst #parentingwithanarcissist

#saveyoursanity #coercivecontrol #narcissisticabuse #toxicnarcissist #leavinganarcissist #hijackals #saveyoursanity #Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #sociopath #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #toxicpeople

2019-11-4

Bait-and-Switch! How Hijackals Use Sex As a Weapon

Ep. 82

BAIT-AND-SWITCH!

That's an illegal activity in the U.S. and many other countries, when it comes to advertising great deals.


It would be SO good, if it were illegal when it comes to #Hijackals everywhere, too.


In advertising terms, bait-and-switch is described as a scam that entices people with a great product of high quality at a very attractively low price. Once a person buys it, they find that they got a low-quality substitute with a no-return policy.


Doesn't that remind of you of how you become ensnared by a #Hijackal? You're love-bombed, made to believe you are the most amazing creature on earth and that the Hijackal would go to the ends of the earth for you.


Hijackals move quickly. You've likely seen graphics on Facebook that remind you that no one falls in love more quickly than a narcissist who has lost a job and has nowhere to stay. Whether or not that was your case, the Hijackal wants to move quickly: fall in love, move in, get pregnant, borrow money, wham! That's to establish control.


By the time the picture starts to come clearly out of the "love haze", and into focus, you don't want to see it. You want to believe the love-bombing. And, then, the abuse begins.


Does this sounds familiar? Read the highlights below, and listen in. Subscribe so you'll receive every episode to help you stay clear about what is really going on.


--------------------------------------------------------------

I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.

----------------------------------------------------------------------


HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

  • How sex is often used once the love-bombing stage is over
  • Why you don't want to believe the bait-and-switch
  • How something that seems so intensely wonderful could go so intensely wrong
  • How #Hijackals use sex as a weapon
  • Why #Hijackals can never get enough power over you
  • How withholding or demanding sex is often part of coercive control


You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.


Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!


If you need help with any part of the journey with--and from--a #Hijackal, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.


Make positive changes NOW.


Big hugs,

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com


P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.


WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

  • access to my Optimize Circles
  • my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
  • monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
  • at least monthly insightful videos and access to the library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

OptimizeCircles.com


CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler


YouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

Weekly live stream show, Help for Toxic Relationships, on Mondays at 6 PM Pacific Time.

Subscribe now on YouTube. Hit the notification bell to get reminders.

Ask your questions in the chat each week!


You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.


#sexasaweapon #baitandswitch #lovebombing #partnerrape #intimateterrorism #narcissisttactics

#coercivecontrol #narcissisticabuse #toxicnarcissist #leavinganarcissist #hijackals #saveyoursanity #Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #sociopath #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #toxicpeople

2019-10-29

Is Your Parent or Partner Emotionally Impaired? :.

Ep. 81

Emotionally Impaired? There's no breathalyzer for that! So, how do you know some is?


Every now and then, each one of us may be a little incapacitated by life events. There can be temporary emotional impairment.


Where the real problems come is when a person is often emotionally impaired, or more difficult, usually emotionally impaired!


You cannot have the three hallmarks I suggest every healthy relationship with the possibility of being emotionally mature and emotionally intimate must have:


Equality. Reciprocity. Mutuality.


It's essential to creating healthy relationships that each person examine their own behavior first. It's wise to be aware of our own issues.


If you find yourself have the same interactions with your partner or parent, or the same complaints about him or her, today's episode may help you identify what is going on and what might be causing the problems. Perhaps, s/he is emotionally impaired.


Good news. You can get out of the Hijackal Trap. Read my downloadable ebook, Escaping the Hijackal Trap. You can recover from any symptoms of Narcissistic Victim Syndrome. It will take awhile, but you'll recover to live and love and trust again. If you're ready to do that now, let's talk: BeAClient.com



Listen in, and subscribe.


--------------------------------------------------------------

I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.

----------------------------------------------------------------------


HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Answers to...

  • What is emotional impairment?
  • How do you recognize someone is emotionally impaired?
  • How would I know if I am emotionally impaired?
  • What is the impact of being with an emotionally impaired person?
  • Why is this important to recognize?


You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.


Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!


If you need help with any part of the journey with--and from--a #Hijackal, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.


Make positive changes NOW.


Big hugs,

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com


P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.


WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

  • access to my Optimize Circles
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Weekly live stream show, Help for Toxic Relationships, on Mondays at 6 PM Pacific Time.

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You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.


#emotionallyimpaired #emotionallyimmature #needtomature #relationshipskills #communicationskills

#coercivecontrol #narcissisticabuse #toxicnarcissist #leavinganarcissist #hijackals #saveyoursanity #Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #sociopath #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #toxicpeople

2019-10-21

Who Cares? Not Hijackals! They're Empathy Deficient.

Ep. 80

Are you with someone who is empathy deficient? Someone who shows almost no interest in your thoughts, feelings, needs, or wants?

That could be a parent, partner, ex, sibling, or co-worker.


It's so hard to comprehend when someone doesn't seem to have the interest or the bandwidth to take you into account, right?

Empathy deficiency!


I've done a lot of reading on the topic of empathy, the lack of empathy, and its relationship to narcissistic, psychopathic, sociopathic, and borderline behavior development, as you can imagine. I'm always on a quest to help you understand how these people, relationships, and toxicity happens, and I have to fully understand first.


#Hijackals are empathy deficient! I like the clear definition of empathy that is offered by Simon Baron-Cohen of the University of Cambridge in his book, The Science of Evil: On Empathy and the Origins of Cruelty:


"Empathy is our ability to identify what someone else is thinking or feeling, and to respond to their thoughts and feelings with an appropriate emotion."


It sounds so natural and straightforward, doesn't it? But, for those raised in difficult situations, abusive situations, or toxic homes, there is likelihood that Baren-Cohen says that have empathy allows us to mostly accurately understand and identify where other people "are at."


When a person has experienced incest, child abuse, neglect, violence, or been brought up in a home with alcohol or substance abuse, they were likely raised by people who had low regard for children, and high regard for themselves. These adults in charge of that home were often dismissive, degrading, demanding, or destructive to children. Big damage can be done!


When you find yourself in a relationship with a #Hijackal, you will work much harder at the relationship than the Hijackal. You know what I'm talking about, don't you? Know this: the Hijackals lack of empathy, or unwillingness to relate to or care about your thoughts, feelings, perceptions, needs, wants, or much of anything you bring up, has nothing to do with anything you did. Yes, it's currently your problem, but you didn't create it.


AND, you can stand on your head and spit wooden nickels for a year, and it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY TO GET ANY BETTER for more than an occasional hot minute when the Hijackal wants something or thinks /she is losing you. Know that right down to your bones.


Hijackals are empathy deficient, and you cannot fix that, help with that, or change that! Listen to this episode to understand this "empathy-free" approach to life and relationship more fully.


Good news. You can get out of the Hijackal Trap. Read my downloadable ebook, Escaping the Hijackal Trap. You can recover from any symptoms of Narcissistic Victim Syndrome. It will take awhile, but you'll recover to live and love and trust again. If you're ready to do that now, let's talk: BeAClient.com



Listen in, and subscribe.


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----------------------------------------------------------------------


HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

Answers to...

  • What is empathy?
  • How is empathy developed?
  • How do people become empathy deficient?
  • Is it likely that an empathy deficient person will change?
  • Is it my fault #Hijackals behave so thoughtlessly, and often cruelly?


You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.


Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!


If you need help with any part of the journey with--and from--a #Hijackal, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.


Make positive changes NOW.


Big hugs,

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com


P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.


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You can have that, and:

  • access to my Optimize Circles
  • my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
  • monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
  • at least monthly insightful videos and access to the library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

OptimizeCircles.com


CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler


YouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

Weekly live stream show, Help for Toxic Relationships, on Mondays at 6 PM Pacific Time.

Subscribe now on YouTube. Hit the notification bell to get reminders.

Ask your questions in the chat each week!


You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.


#empathy #empathydeficient #empathyfree #coercivecontrol #narcissisticabuse #toxicnarcissist #leavinganarcissist #hijackals #saveyoursanity #Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #sociopath #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #toxicpeople