Save Your Sanity

Help for Handling Hijackals®- The Crazy-Making, Difficult, Toxic, and Narcissistic Folks Out There.

The Save Your Sanity podcast offers episodes filled with the expert insights, validation, strategies, and support you need to recognize, manage, and recover from relationships with the relentlessly difficult, toxic--and ... More
Latest Episode2019-3-17

7 Ways to Keep Their Passive-Aggression from Driving You Nuts! Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

You need to learn how to side-step toxic, passive-aggressive behavior, and save your sanity, right? Today's episode gives you 7 ways to do just that.

Other episodes have talked about important aspects of being in relationship with a passive-aggressive person, and about what to do if you are being passive-aggressive. Now, how to protect yourself from the toxicity of passive-aggressive behavior coming from someone else!

You feel the energetic hit of their toxic behavior, but strangely, most folks immediately question themselves. That's where you have to start making changes. Once you recognize the passive-aggression, you can then do things differently yourself. That's where your power lies.


If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.

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Passive-aggressive behavior is covert--stealthy, underground, and under-handed. You feel it, but you're not often certain what it is that's bothering you. Until you do! That's why I've written so much about it, and devoted several episodes to it. Once you know clearly what it is, you will feel empowered in the face of it. Maybe not immediately, but that will be the result if you step up and use these seven tips all the time.

Passive-aggressive people can make chaos out of thin air. Actually, they are secretly delighted to do so. It gives them power over others. They haven't learned to approach situations, feelings, relationship, or communication directly, so they do it indirectly. Hence, the chaos!


  • Do not try to win or apply reason when confronting passive-aggressive behavior.
  • Do not join in the hostility.
  • Know your boundaries, and express and maintain them, no matter what resistance you experience.
  • Examine what might be your fault, and own it. Reject what is not, and say so.
  • Do not engage in blame. This only exacerbates arguments.
  • Remember that passive-aggressive behavior coming towards you is not about you.
  • You need help to see the patterns, because when you're a participant in the relationship, they are very hard to see.

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. Want my help? I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.


You can have that, and:

  • access to my Optimize Circles
  • my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
  • monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls
  • at least monthly insightful webinars

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!



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Weekly livestream show, Help for Toxic Relationships, on Mondays at 6 PM Pacific Time.

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You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.

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7 Ways to Keep Their Passive-Aggression from Driving You Nuts! Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

In other episodes, I've described passive-aggressive behaviors in others, and how to recognize them in yourself. TODAY, it's all about how to save your sanity around passive-aggressive people!

Why Narcissistic Hijackals Seem to Find You & Why You Like Them - Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Many clients tell me that they have had more than one #Hijackal in their lives. Maybe, they've married a couple! Now, they want to know why are they drawn to me, and why do I attract them? Today's answers can help you change things.

How to Know the Difference Between a Rough Patch & Straight-Up Abuse

No one likes to think of themselves as being abused, especially in an adult relationship. Today, clearly see what abuse IS. SO much more than a occasional rough spot in a relationship. Emotional abuse. Verbal abuse. Too often excused says Dr. Shaler

What Three Billy Goats & a Troll Have to Do with Covert Narcissists Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Do you know someone who seems so humble and unassuming but is constantly at you for not making them happy? Could be you're with a covert narcissist? Oh, listen in to find out about the billy goats and the troll

How to Recognize Hijackals®. Their Patterns, Traits & Cycles

You need to know how to recognize a Hijackal! If not, you'll try to be compassionate, nurturing, nice, patient, and long-suffering in the hopes that they will change. They won't. Learn why today and save your sanity!

How Childhood Emotional Neglect May be Adversely Affecting Your Relationships

Do you know what emotional abuse looks like? BONUS INTERVIEW with Dr. Jonice Webb, author of the first ever book on Childhood Emotional Abuse (CEN) on your sense of self, safety, and well-being, and offer ways to heal, and to reclaim your life!

Why Too Few Boundaries Allow Too Much Drama

Setting boundaries in the face of difficult people can be daunting, I know. It's especially difficult if you had a difficult Hijackal parent! Get a deeper understanding of what you need to do this, and how to do it powerfully today.