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Save Your Sanity from Hijackals & Other Toxic Relationships

How to stop the crazy-making and reclaim your life from toxic people and narcissistic abuse.

The Save Your Sanity podcast offers episodes filled with the expert insights, validation, strategies, and support you need to recognize, manage, and recover from relationships with the relentlessly difficult, toxic--and ... More
Latest Episode
2019-5-18

5 Co-Parenting Hacks for Raising Healthy, Happy Children with a Difficult Ex

Ep. 60

Don't make your children feel like pawns, messengers, or casualties of your divorce!


In a perfect world, after divorce, your children would only know that life is more peaceful with two homes, and that they miss the way things used to be with both parents in the home. (Of course, if there was a lot of tension, bickering, and anger, they won't miss that at all!)


When you co-parent well, you eliminate exposing the children to adult issues. Right? I sure hope you said "Yes!"


Children have enough upset to content with when parents separate. It's enough to deal with moving, losing time with their friends, missing the non-custodial parent, feeling uncertain about what's going on, and not have the right things in the right house at the right time. These are kid concerns!


FIVE GOAL/AFFIRMATIONS TO KEEP TOP-OF-MIND WHEN CO-PARENTING:


  1. I am the model I want my children to follow. Therefore, everything I do and say demonstrates who I want my children to strive towards becoming.
  2. I communicate with my ex in the way I wish for him/her to communicate with me. I choose collaboration and conversation, over conflict and acrimony. (Listen to today's episode for how this works with #Hijackals!)
  3. I focus on my children and what keeps them healthy--physically, mentally, and emotionally. That includes doing what is in their best interests first.
  4. I turn my attention from what I don't like about my ex to what s/he does well for the children. It's about the kids, not what my personal issues are with my ex.
  5. I allow my children to enjoy their childhoods and ensure they're only concerned with age-appropriate thoughts, feelings and actions. I protect them from being pawns, messengers, or casualties of my divorce.


Now, those are just for you. A #Hijackal ex may make them VERY difficult, and I've talked about this in today's episode, at length.


----------------------------------------------------------------------

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. ForRelationshipHelp.com/Circles Only $5 for the first month at any level.

----------------------------------------------------------------------


You deserve to create a life that is calm, peaceful, creative, and productive. A #Hijackal wants to be sure that you do not.

No emotional safety when you're in a relationship with a Hijackal!


Today's episode offers insights into the crazy-making minds of narcissistsnarcissistic #Hijackals, anti-social people, and drama queens...and, of course, drama kings.


Once, you recognize this, you'll need more information to change that. You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.


Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!


HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

  • Why you must keep the best interests of the children top of mind
  • Goal Affirmations for you (see above)
  • Value of communicating with your children in age-appropriate ways only
  • Why not to discuss divorce difficulties with your children that only belong between you and your ex


If you need help with any part of the journey with--and from--a #Hijackal, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. Want my help? I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.


Make positive changes NOW.


Big hugs,

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com


P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.


WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

  • access to my Optimize Circles
  • my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
  • monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
  • at least monthly insightful webinars and access to the webinar library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

ForRelationshipHelp.com/Circles


CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: ForRelationshipHelp.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler


YouTubeYouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

Weekly livestream show, Help for Toxic Relationships, on Mondays at 6 PM Pacific Time.

Subscribe now to get a reminder. Ask your questions in the chat each week!


You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.


#Hijackals #verbalabuse #toxcirelationships #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #parentalalienation #coparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist

2019-5-18

5 Co-Parenting Hacks for Raising Healthy, Happy Children with a Difficult Ex

Ep. 60

Don't make your children feel like pawns, messengers, or casualties of your divorce!


In a perfect world, after divorce, your children would only know that life is more peaceful with two homes, and that they miss the way things used to be with both parents in the home. (Of course, if there was a lot of tension, bickering, and anger, they won't miss that at all!)


When you co-parent well, you eliminate exposing the children to adult issues. Right? I sure hope you said "Yes!"


Children have enough upset to content with when parents separate. It's enough to deal with moving, losing time with their friends, missing the non-custodial parent, feeling uncertain about what's going on, and not have the right things in the right house at the right time. These are kid concerns!


FIVE GOAL/AFFIRMATIONS TO KEEP TOP-OF-MIND WHEN CO-PARENTING:


  1. I am the model I want my children to follow. Therefore, everything I do and say demonstrates who I want my children to strive towards becoming.
  2. I communicate with my ex in the way I wish for him/her to communicate with me. I choose collaboration and conversation, over conflict and acrimony. (Listen to today's episode for how this works with #Hijackals!)
  3. I focus on my children and what keeps them healthy--physically, mentally, and emotionally. That includes doing what is in their best interests first.
  4. I turn my attention from what I don't like about my ex to what s/he does well for the children. It's about the kids, not what my personal issues are with my ex.
  5. I allow my children to enjoy their childhoods and ensure they're only concerned with age-appropriate thoughts, feelings and actions. I protect them from being pawns, messengers, or casualties of my divorce.


Now, those are just for you. A #Hijackal ex may make them VERY difficult, and I've talked about this in today's episode, at length.


----------------------------------------------------------------------

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. ForRelationshipHelp.com/Circles Only $5 for the first month at any level.

----------------------------------------------------------------------


You deserve to create a life that is calm, peaceful, creative, and productive. A #Hijackal wants to be sure that you do not.

No emotional safety when you're in a relationship with a Hijackal!


Today's episode offers insights into the crazy-making minds of narcissistsnarcissistic #Hijackals, anti-social people, and drama queens...and, of course, drama kings.


Once, you recognize this, you'll need more information to change that. You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.


Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!


HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

  • Why you must keep the best interests of the children top of mind
  • Goal Affirmations for you (see above)
  • Value of communicating with your children in age-appropriate ways only
  • Why not to discuss divorce difficulties with your children that only belong between you and your ex


If you need help with any part of the journey with--and from--a #Hijackal, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. Want my help? I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.


Make positive changes NOW.


Big hugs,

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com


P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.


WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

  • access to my Optimize Circles
  • my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
  • monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
  • at least monthly insightful webinars and access to the webinar library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

ForRelationshipHelp.com/Circles


CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: ForRelationshipHelp.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler


YouTubeYouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

Weekly livestream show, Help for Toxic Relationships, on Mondays at 6 PM Pacific Time.

Subscribe now to get a reminder. Ask your questions in the chat each week!


You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.


#Hijackals #verbalabuse #toxcirelationships #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #parentalalienation #coparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist

2019-5-7

What Do You Mean I'm Not the Center of Your Universe???

Ep. 59

#Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult, demanding people--NEED to be the center of the attention, the star of the show, the center of your Universe. And, they have to come first.

You, then, are expected to be their adoring, validating audience, clapping at the least of their ideas. Exhausting, and inappropriate...at the least!


Whether they take center stage by being charming, or by being nasty, doesn't matter to them, as long as they occupy that space and garner your attention.


#Hijackals® believe that life should revolve around them, their needs, wants, thoughts, feelings, and desires. NO! That's not true. But, have you been falling into step with what they want? Time to re-assess!


Yes, she can be charming, alluring, and magnetic.

Yes, he can be amusing, engaging, and promising.

But. it's all about them. That's not a recipe for a healthy relationship. It's toxic!


Is this sounding familiar? If so, it's time for a change. It's time for a clear look at what's really going on, and decide if you're ready to do something that is healthier for you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. ForRelationshipHelp.com/Circles Only $5 for the first month at any level.

----------------------------------------------------------------------


You deserve to create a life that is calm, peaceful, creative, and productive. A #Hijackal wants to be sure that you do not.


You will find yourself blamed for things that couldn't possible be your fault. You'll be told how you feel, and it will be completely wrong. You'll be told what you think, and no one every asked you. Sound familiar? That's how #Hijackals roll.


No emotional safety when you're in a relationship with a Hijackal!


Today's episode offers insights into the crazy-making minds of narcissists, narcissistic #Hijackals, anti-social people, and drama queens...and, of course, drama kings.


Once, you recognize this, you'll need more information to change that. You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.


Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up.


HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

  • Why #Hijackal must blame and find fault
  • Why that blame is all coming your way
  • Destructive patterns you can notice right now, and move away from
  • One BIG STRATEGY to do right away to change things positively...if possible.



If you need help with any part of the journey with--and from--a #Hijackal, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. Want my help? I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.


Make positive changes NOW.


Big hugs,

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com


P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.


WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

  • access to my Optimize Circles
  • my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
  • monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
  • at least monthly insightful webinars and access to the webinar library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

ForRelationshipHelp.com/Circles


CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: ForRelationshipHelp.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler


YouTubeYouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

Weekly livestream show, Help for Toxic Relationships, on Mondays at 6 PM Pacific Time.

Subscribe now to get a reminder. Ask your questions in the chat each week!


You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.


#Hijackals #verbalabuse #toxcirelationships #jealousy #noexcuseforabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #emotionalsafety #selfcenteredpeople #narcissistsworldview #overcomingnarcissisticabuse

2019-4-28

Boomerang of Blame: Why Narcissistic People Make It All Your Fault

Ep. 58

"It's crazy-making! No matter how wrong s/he is, it's always my fault!"

Have you ever said that about a parent, partner, ex, friend, sibling, co-worker?


Infuriating! Frustrating! Endless! It has to stop. And, unfortunately, that's up to you. A #Hijackal--a relentlessly difficult person with narcissistic, anti-social, borderline or histrionic behaviors--will never entertain the remote possibility that s/he has made a mistake, or is wrong. Right? Nasty!


#Hijackals have been damaged in ways that cause them to be hyper-vigilant, always on the look out to defend themselves against blame. Even when there is nothing to guard themselves against, they make up things. Have you experienced this? If you're with a #Hijackal you certain will know what I'm talking about!


Blame becomes a pre-occupation for Hijackals. Their immediate response is to reject it or deflect it. That means it's coming back your way. Hence, the Boomerang of Blame.


----------------------------------------------------------------------

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. ForRelationshipHelp.com/Circles Only $5 for the first month at any level.

----------------------------------------------------------------------


You deserve to create a life that is calm, peaceful, creative, and productive. A #Hijackal wants to be sure that you do not.


You will find yourself blamed for things that couldn't possible be your fault. You'll be told how you feel, and it will be completely wrong. You'll be told what you think, and no one every asked you. Sound familiar? That's how #Hijackals roll.


No emotional safety when you're in a relationship with a Hijackal!


Today's episode offers the ONE BIG STRATEGY you need to employ first to repel the Boomerang of Blame. Yes, I know. It's not fair that you have to be the one who employs all the strategies to make the relationship bearable. But, you need to be safe, and that's up to you to do everything you can to make happen.


Once, you recognize this, you'll need more information to change that. You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.


Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up.


HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

  • Why #Hijackal must blame and find fault
  • Why that blame is all coming your way
  • Destructive patterns you can notice right now, and move away from
  • One BIG STRATEGY to do right away to change things positively...if possible.



If you need help with any part of the journey with--and from--a #Hijackal, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. Want my help? I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.


Make positive changes NOW.


Big hugs,

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com


P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.


WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

  • access to my Optimize Circles
  • my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
  • monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
  • at least monthly insightful webinars and access to the webinar library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

ForRelationshipHelp.com/Circles


CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: ForRelationshipHelp.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler


YouTubeYouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

Weekly livestream show, Help for Toxic Relationships, on Mondays at 6 PM Pacific Time.

Subscribe now to get a reminder. Ask your questions in the chat each week!


You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.


#Hijackals #verbalabuse #toxcirelationships #jealousy #noexcuseforabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #emotionalsafety #Boomerangofblame #refusingblame #mustberight #narcissistsmustberight

2019-4-21

How to Know If You're Emotionally Safe in Your Relationship

Ep. 57

Do you bend over backwards to keep people happy?

Do you try to live up to other people's expectations?


If you answered "Yes" to either of those, you may be accepting a relationship that is actually emotionally unsafe for you. It may be a toxic relationship!


Another way to know if you need to question your emotional safety is to recognize that you fell in love with someone who swept you off your feet, and seemed absolutely perfect, and now, you find yourself with a person who puts you down and wears you down to the point of exhaustion.


That's what #Hijackals do! They "get" you with the picture of perfection, and keep you in a private place of pain, sadly enough.


(If you're wondering if you're with a #Hijackal, get my free gift for you: my ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal, HERE. )


Did you fall in love with a person who was so amazing that you thought you'd been blessed with a soulmate? Then, did you find the relationship deteriorating into something more like being cursed with a cellmate?


You want--and need--to listen to today's episode. It can change everything!


----------------------------------------------------------------------

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. ForRelationshipHelp.com/Circles Only $5 for the first month at any level.

----------------------------------------------------------------------


You deserve to create a life that is calm, peaceful, creative, and productive. A #Hijackal wants to be sure that you do not.


You will find yourself blamed for things that couldn't possible be your fault. You'll be told how you feel, and it will be completely wrong. You'll be told what you think, and no one every asked you. Sound familiar? That's how #Hijackals roll.


No emotional safety when you're in a relationship with a Hijackal!


Today's episode offers deep food for thought about your emotional safety. Most people who are with toxic people really want to believe that what's happening is not true. You make excuses for their behavior. You justify and rationalize it.


Now's the time to recognize it for what it is: bad behavior from a person who will never give you the love you want and deserve.


Once, you recognize this, you'll need more information to change that. You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.


Listen to today's episode, and take it all in. It could be your ticket to a much more peaceful life.


And, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up.


Hijackals have to believe they are always right, and the smartest person in every room, at all time. So, they give you false messages about yourself. Time to examine those and stop believing them.


HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

  • Recognize there are people in the world who want and need power over you
  • Recognize if you're with an emotionally unsafe person, a #Hijackal
  • Anais Nin: "We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are."
  • How to know if you are emotionally unsafe: 5 questions to ask yourself
  • Don Catherall: "One partner can say something stupid, and the other person ignores it or doesn't look at it as significant. There's a level of trust. But when they lose that safety, everything has the potential to flare up. They stop taking things at face value or giving each other the benefit of the doubt."
  • Destructive patterns you can notice right now, and move away from
  • You have the right to be emotionally safe!


If you need help with any part of the journey with--and from--a #Hijackal, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. Want my help? I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.


Make positive changes NOW.


Big hugs,

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com


P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.


WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

  • access to my Optimize Circles
  • my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
  • monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
  • at least monthly insightful webinars and access to the webinar library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

ForRelationshipHelp.com/Circles


CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: ForRelationshipHelp.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler


YouTubeYouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

Weekly livestream show, Help for Toxic Relationships, on Mondays at 6 PM Pacific Time.

Subscribe now to get a reminder. Ask your questions in the chat each week!


You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.


#Hijackals #verbalabuse #toxcirelationships #jealousy #noexcuseforabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #emotionalsafety #emotionallysafe #keepmyselfsafe

2019-4-15

Stop Lying to Yourself! Some People Will NEVER Change.

People can drive you crazy, right? Toxic people are best at it.

And, yet, you might still be telling yourself that you can change them. Is that true...even a little bit?


Everyone has bad days. Everyone goes through rough patches. You've been there yourself.


Someone you care about is overwhelmed or stress to the point of snippy-ness or name-calling. It's surprising and annoying, but you understand. Why? Because it only happens once in a blue moon!


But #Hijackals®, those relentless difficult people, they want to suck you in, use you, and spit you out, right?

They're motto seems to be, "Come closer. Stay away." Crazy-making!


It's time to recognize--and realize down to your toes--that you cannot change a narcissist, or a person with narcissistic behaviors. You cannot!

You could stand on your head and spit wooden nickels for a year, and it wouldn't do anything but make that person think that they had a wonderful degree of control over you! Not the result you wanted, right?


----------------------------------------------------------------------

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. ForRelationshipHelp.com/Circles Only $5 for the first month at any level.

----------------------------------------------------------------------


You deserve to create a life that is calm, peaceful, creative, and productive. A #Hijackal wants to be sure that you do not.


Why? The Hijackal has to be on top of any pile, the one getting the credit, and in the meantime, discrediting or tearing you down. Sad AND crazy-making! People with narcissistic traits do it. People with anti-social behaviors do it. People who have histrionic traits--the drama kings and drama queens--do it. People with borderline personality traits do it.


Today's episode offers 7 things you may be noticing--or should be noticing--that will tell you clearly that you're in a #Hijackal relationship. You'll need more information to change that. You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.


Listen to today's episode, and take it all in. It could be your ticket to a much more peaceful life.


And, if by chance, you're wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up. Hijackals have to believe they are always right, and the smartest person in ever room, at all time. So, they give you false messages about yourself. Time to examine those and stop believing them.


HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

  • Recognize your tendency to make excuses for a difficult person's bad behavior
  • How a #Hijackal twists your words, and how s/he twists your relationship
  • 7 Red flags you may have missed that you need to see
  • How being with a #Hijackal erodes self-confidence
  • Why it is essential to see these traits NOW, and take action.


If you need help with any part of the journey with--and from--a #Hijackal, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. Want my help? I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.


Make positive changes NOW.


Big hugs,

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com


P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.


WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

  • access to my Optimize Circles
  • my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
  • monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
  • at least monthly insightful webinars and access to the webinar library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

ForRelationshipHelp.com/Circles


CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: ForRelationshipHelp.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler


YouTubeYouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

Weekly livestream show, Help for Toxic Relationships, on Mondays at 6 PM Pacific Time.

Subscribe now to get a reminder. Ask your questions in the chat each week!


You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.


#Hijackals #verbalabuse #toxcirelationships #jealousy #noexcuseforabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #jealousyisfear #jealousyruinsrelationship

2019-4-6

How to Know If Your Jealousy is Low-Key Killing Your Relationship

Season 5, Ep. 55

Jealous? That's a big issue that can easily cause major relationship problems!


Have you already learned that? Are you ready to stop repeating that mistake? Great!


Jealousy is the green, fire-breathing monster that is lying in wait to devour your relationships, and hurt your heart. When you want to stop living in fear of being hurt, you can. I can help. You want to be free of jealousy because it uses far too much energy with no good return on that investment.


Are you suspicious?

Are you accusatory?

Are you smothering?

Are you too often blaming and shaming?


Are you tired of living with all that fear? I hope so. It's too hard on you...and quite unnecessary. You may not know that yet, but it's true. It's unnecessary.


Dr. Phil is correct when he says, "Jealousy is a poorly disguised need for power and control." Do you see that?


It's just what you don't want to happen to you, right? You don't want someone who has a need for power and control over you. But, your jealousy may be a misguided effort to have power and control over another human. That's TOO MUCH WORK!


----------------------------------------------------------------------

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. ForRelationshipHelp.com/Circles

----------------------------------------------------------------------


You deserve to create a life that is calm, peaceful, creative, and productive. You can't have that when you're jealous. You're too involved with your fears about what another person may be doing. You're actually giving away your time, energy, and well-being to an idea that may not be true. Now, that doesn't sound like something you want to do any longer, does it?


Listen to today's episode, and take it all in. It could be your ticket to a much more peaceful life.


And, if by chance, you're wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up. Hijackals have to believe they are always right, and the smartest person in ever room, at all time. So, they give you false messages about yourself. Time to examine those and stop believing them.


HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

  • Recognize that you are jealous for a reason that likely has no relationship to your current relationship
  • Fear of being abandoned can run--and ruin--your life
  • Questions you need to ask yourself about your jealousy
  • Why you may be afraid you're being cheated on
  • What you need to think about to stop the green-eyed monster from ruining your life and relationship


YAY! Step up today and don't let anyone put you down ever again. OK?


If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. Want my help? I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.


Make positive changes NOW.


Big hugs,

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com


P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.


WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

  • access to my Optimize Circles
  • my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
  • monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
  • at least monthly insightful webinars and access to the webinar library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

ForRelationshipHelp.com/Circles


CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: ForRelationshipHelp.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler


YouTubeYouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

Weekly livestream show, Help for Toxic Relationships, on Mondays at 6 PM Pacific Time.

Subscribe now to get a reminder. Ask your questions in the chat each week!


You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.


#Hijackals #verbalabuse #toxcirelationships #jealousy #noexcuseforabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #jealousyisfear #jealousyruinsrelationship

2019-4-1

Never Go "Nose Blind" to Verbal Abuse. Smell It For What It Is! Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Season 5, Ep. 54

Have you heard that TV ad for air freshener that implores you to notice that you may have gone "nose-blind" to the unpleasant smells in your kitchen, garbage, basement, or car? Well, I think people go "nose-blind" to verbal abuse...and, to emotional abuse, too. It's time to stop!


Today, I'm talking about the ways you might be justifying the bad behavior of a #Hijackal in your life, a relentlessly difficult, usually self-centered person who wants power and control over you...always. It's not just occasional. It's a way of life for them, and they have endless expectations that you will not only allow their verbal abuse, but you'll begin to believe you deserve it. YOU DON'T!!!!


If you've had a #Hijackal parent, an emotionally unavailable parent who had unreasonable expectations of you, you may subconsciously be so used to the behavior that you don't see it in all it's awfulness. You're used to it, and even though it makes you uncomfortable, it is still "comfortably uncomfortable." It's familiar. And, that can change. (And, I hope today's episode will keep you on that change train, too. )


----------------------------------------------------------------------

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. ForRelationshipHelp.com/Circles

----------------------------------------------------------------------


Constantly being told you are worthless, or thoughtless, or even much less, wears away self-esteem, and with it goes your self-confidence. Especially if a parent emotionally abused you, you are groomed to accept this behavior from others. You believe the abuser. Please DON'T!


(Yes, I know, you don't want to think that about your parent, but you're an adult now. You need to call it what it was...and deal with it.)


If you're wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up. Hijackals have to believe they are always right, and the smartest person in ever room, at all time. So, they give you false messages about yourself. Time to examine those and stop believing them.


HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

  • Why verbal abuse may have become something you're "nose-blind" to
  • Why you simply cannot excuse their behavior because "they're having a bad day"
  • Why it is NOT YOU who has to change
  • How it's possible to have a wildly successful career and still be abused at home
  • How to stop being "Nose blind" and wake up smell the herbal tea...lol


YAY! Step up today and don't let anyone put you down ever again. OK?


If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. Want my help? I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.


Make positive changes NOW.


Big hugs,

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com


P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.


WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

  • access to my Optimize Circles
  • my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
  • monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
  • at least monthly insightful webinars and access to the webinar library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

ForRelationshipHelp.com/Circles


CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: ForRelationshipHelp.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler


YouTubeYouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

Weekly livestream show, Help for Toxic Relationships, on Mondays at 6 PM Pacific Time.

Subscribe now to get a reminder. Ask your questions in the chat each week!


You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.


#Hijackals #verbalabuse #toxcirelationships #recognizeverbalabuse #noexcuseforabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #beassertive