Is It Possible That You're Enabling a Toxic Partner? Time to Stop!
SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®
with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor
IS IT POSSIBLE YOU'RE ENABLING A TOXIC PARTNER? TIME TO STOP!
VERY IMPORTANT! NO BLAME HERE!
Do not blame yourself, or take on any blame, if you listen today and realize you're been enabling your toxic partner to continue to behave badly. S/he was going to do it anyway. You didn't cause it. You are a good person, who simply didn't have an impact when you said no. So, now you've been worn down, and torn down, by their bad behavior.
Toxic people, Hijackals®, are looking for power and control over you. Because you are a good person, a loving, compassionate person, you were chosen by the Hijackal.
S/he thought there was a good chance that you would go the extra mile, be long-suffering, or justify, rationalize, or excuse their bad behavior. You likely did...because you are a good person, and you thought that, with enough love and patience, s/he would change. Hijackals don't change...for the better!
Today, I'm talking about "enabling." Here's a definition that makes it clear:
Enabling is the behavior of protecting others from experiencing the full impact and consequences of their behavior
That's where the excusing, rationalizing, and justifying come in. You give them more than enough rope to hang themselves, and instead, they hang you!
A few highlights of today's episode:
- Eight identifiable behaviors of Hijackals that you may be unwittingly enabling
- Why it may feel like the toxic person, the Hijackal, treats you in a "Come closer. Stay away." kind of way
- Why enabling will NEVER get you the relationship you want: the one with honesty, safety, respect, trust, and reliability that I talk about in Kaizen for Couples: Smart Steps to Save, Sustain & Strengthen Your Relationship
- Why you want to stop enabling and learn the strategies to empower yourself BEFORE you announce you are leaving
Are you ready to be free of this? To stop questioning your sanity and second-guessing yourself? GREAT!
Hijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! You are being poisoned. You are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are.
I hope this help you see that more clearly.
If you need help with this, I'm here for you.
Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.
I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.
Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,
The Relationship Help Doctor
P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.
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You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.
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