Trauma-Bonding: Why We Create Toxic Bonds & How to Release Them GUEST - Dr. Gary Salyer

Sat Nov 03 2018 (37:46)


with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

TRAUMA-BONDING: Why You Create Toxic Bonds and How To Release It

A conversation between me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, and Dr. Gary Salyer, author of the upcoming book, Safe to Love Again.

Are you so attached to someone that you are "hooked on hope" that one day they will treat you better? That's really common, and a bit difficult to step away from, I know. That "hooked on hope" can erode into trauma-bonding.

What is trauma-bonding?

Now that you see those, do you relate that to what has happened to you with a partner, parent, or ex?

Trauma-bonding is a real thing! And you can do something about it. That's what Dr. Gary Salyer and I discuss today. You need to know this, for yourself, your children, and your friends, too.

Guest, Dr. Gary Salyer, talks about the six rights you have in life, and how having or not having them will make all the difference in creating healthy relationships. Dr. Salyer is the author of Safe to Love Again, an upcoming book that can uplift you if you've ever been deeply hurt by a relationship.

More about Dr. Gary Salyer

Dr. Gary Salyer speaks to audiences across the country as a featured expert, inspirational speaker on how to create the love we all deserve. He is an expert in Attachment Theory, the science of relationships, Bert Hellinger's Family Systems approach and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). As a master transformational relationship coach, Dr. Gary helps people re-write the rules for love in their brains.

Dr. Salyer is the creator of the Safe to Love Again™ Workshop and the Extraordinary Couples™ and Extraordinary Singles™ Retreats. He is also a highly sought after guest on various podcasts, TV and radio shows such as The Aware Show on Hay House Radio.

Smart, savvy, professional women in their thirties, forties and fifties who are tired of the heartache in their love lives are resonating with the message of ‘safe to love again.’ Gary’s biggest passion is to help both singles and couples discover how they can have a loving sweetheart lying beside them at night, rather than a lonely pillow or a frustrated, distant partner.

Today's episode will give you insights into:

  • why you might have been been susceptible to trauma-bonding
  • what is secure attachment
  • what is insecure attachment
  • how you can see more clearly and step away from your abuser
  • why it is important to realize that this is emotional abuse

Find Dr. Salyer at, Facebook

You can pre-order his new book, Safe To Love Again, on his website.

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? BE A PATREON SUPPORTER AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.



Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor




You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #difficultpeople #enablingabuse #scaredtoleavemyabuser #DrGarySalyer

*1 Samsel, Michael (2008). "Trauma Bonding" Michael Samsel LMHC. Archived from the original on May 10, 2018

*2Wendy Austin; Mary Ann Boyd. Psychiatric and Mental Health Nursing for Canadian Practice. Lippincott Williams & Wilkins; 1 January 2010. ISBN 978-0-7817-9593-7. p. 67.