How to Manage Uncertainty, Ambiguity and Chaos in Relationships GUEST: Dr. Dennis Merritt-Jones

Wed Mar 21 2018 (59:04)

The Relationship Help Show with Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor


Toxic people thrive on--and, therefore create--uncertainty, ambiguity and chaos. That's how they gain power and control over people, conversations, and circumstances. Today's show will help you see where and how you are being controlled by uncertainty...even when you don't think it's possible.

Dr. Rhoberta Shaler gives you strategies for safely saying what you mean, at the time it needs to be said.

​Guest, Dr Dennis Merritt-Jones, author of The Art of Uncertainty, offers a definition of uncertainty and why it can be a good thing. Who knew? Dr. Shaler asks him a whole lot of questions about this! For instance, can you be fully present and detached at the same time?

Q & A Today: My partner left me. Should I take my partner back?


How To Learn To Say What You Mean - Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

You're often taught to bite your tongue, right? Somehow, speaking your truth is discouraged, almost as though what you have to say has no value and doesn't matter. Then, you get in the way of not speaking up when you are discounted, degraded, or verbally abused. That leads to emotional abuse. So, these insights can help you find your voice...and use it! 

GUEST: Dr. Dennis Merritt-Jones, author of The Art of Uncertainty 

Hijackals®, those toxic people who are impossible to please and difficult to live with make it their life's work to keep you in uncertainty and second-guessing yourself. Dennis gives another view of uncertainty that is much more positive and appealing. He offers spiritual views for dealing with practical matters in a refreshing way. 

Dennis says that,

"The whole point of this book is that you'd have no control over the future. You have absolutely no control over your next breath in the present moment. So the the choice should be: how are you going to choose to experience this moment? Because it is a choice we have when we can understand that we can deal with fear differently than perhaps we have in the past. It doesn't mean fears going to go away, but it means we develop a new relationship with fear that allows us to be in charge of our experience in the moment."

Would you like to know how to know when to let go of wrongs, worries, fears, and pain? In this segment, we talk about four important pillars: choice, faith, curiosity, and action. All help you to create a life that moves in positive directions and towards manifesting the relationships and dreams you most want. 

Q&A: Should I Take My Partner Back Again? 

So many times, Hijackals® leave in a fit of righteousness to punish you. Hijackals must be right...always. You've likely noticed that. Then, they want to come back. They "love bomb" you: saying and doing all the right, loving things you've been longing to hear. Here's why you have to think clearly, remember well, and stand your ground. 

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