Speaking Up! Escaping Domestic Abuse: What It Takes & Why It Takes So Long GUEST: Mickie Zada

Wed Nov 07 2018 (45:08)

EMOTIONAL SAVVY: The Relationship Help Show

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor


SPEAKING UP! ESCAPING DOMESTIC ABUSE: WHAT IT TAKES & WHY IT TAKES SO LONG


GUEST: Mickie Zada, CEO of Surviving Abuse Network


In today's episode, I give you some new perspectives--and effective words to say--when people treat you in ways you do not appreciate.


For many listeners, "ways I do not appreciate" usually come from one particular person, a #Hijackal®. Whether that is true for you or not, you want to feel and be confident that you can trust yourself to speak up when someone says something rude, wrong, or abusive, without concern that you will turn into a blaming, shaming, or abusive person yourself. That's the goal of my segment today.


Learning to respond from your best self rather than lose it and react is a skill! The ideas I've shared here really work. I hope you find them useful immediately for dealing with unexpected hostility, rudeness, and the desire of a Hijackal to squish you like a gnat!


(If you enjoy this topic, please go to my show page on Facebook and let me know, or leave feedback or ask questions about any topic I've covered there. I'll see it, and respond. I promise. Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpShow )


GUEST: MICKIE ZADA, Advocate for women who have escaped emotional abuse.


Mickie Zada, lived in domestic abuse for thirty-four years. In spite of enduring emotional, financial, and physical abuse, for twenty-three years she pretended her life was "normal." Even after admitting her reality, it took eleven more years to leave.


Mickie got help from both an experienced counselor, and a psychologist who understood the issues and depth of domestic abuse, who realized and recognized the verbal abuse, emotional abuse, AND the domestic abuse she lived with. She wisely gave herself five years of time to gather, embrace, and apply personal growth insights, understanding that, if she didn't change, she would return to her abuser or attract another abuser.


Sixteen years later, Mickie is now a content creator, catalyst, and advocate for women who have escaped domestic abuse. Her business, Surviving Abuse Network, includes weekly podcasts, live videos, and articles created to support and inspire women who have escaped.


Mickie's first book, Looking Behind Closed Doors: Domestic Abuse - If You Don't Change, Nothing Changes, is available on Kindle through Amazon


HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:


  • Why it took so long to believe it was abuse
  • What to do when the thought that you've allowed this to happen paralyzes you
  • The important of a "getaway" plan
  • How Mickie created that "getaway" plan
  • What to do when you're so afraid of your abuser
  • Why it's not a good idea to broadcast the idea that you're leaving to your abuser, or to anyone who will tell him or her



CONNECT WITH MICKIE ZADA

Website: SurvivingAbuseNetwork.com

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/mickie_Zada

Facebook: Facebook.com/SurvivingAbuseNetwork

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/mickiezada

Instagram: https://instagram.com/mickie.survivingabusenetwork


CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: ForRelationshipHelp.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler


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Subscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for Relationships

FREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®


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...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.

Patreon.com/RhobertaShaler


If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.


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